Five years ago, in October of 2013, I suffered a back injury that sent me onto a path of forced self-improvement. All injuries are different, and mine was coupled with a terrible ending to an emotionally abusive relationship. Going through both of these things simultaneously is not something I wish for anyone, but in hindsight, it gave me an incredible opportunity. Think about it: every experience you have is on a spectrum. You don’t know your strength until you face your struggles.

Diagnosis

MRI results showed my back injury was fairly common: a few disc herniations in my lumbar spine giving me sciatica in both legs. Because I ignored the pain for a year before I was diagnosed and continued to workout even harder, I made it worse. Eventually, I had to stop all exercise in September of 2014. The intensity of pain skyrocketed, magnified I’m sure by the depression I was experiencing from the breakup. All of the muscles in my core on the right side of my body tightened, and I was stuck hunched over for about seven months. I was literally crooked, and couldn’t breathe very well. I relied on crutches to get around, and spent most of my time trying to find a comfortable position on my floor.

Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah, Stayin’ Alive

Because of an outside influence, I declared war against pain meds and took nothing until it was too late. I regret this the most. Listen to your doctors and take the medicine. I spent plenty of time at the sports med doctor, osteopath doctor, the physical therapist, the acupuncturist, the E.R., and the counselor. I did it all, and I did it all by myself. I don’t recommend it, and this is one of the main reasons I am passionate about what I do. No one should ever have to feel like they are alone in a terrible experience.

The Comeback

After a lot of patience, hard work, and five months surviving on my floor, my body miraculously started to straighten out. The day came in May of 2015 when I was able to get back on my bicycle and ride along Mission Beach. It was then that I realized nothing is worth being in that much pain. There were a lot of “nevers” in my self-talk as I recovered. I said I would never pick up a barbell again. I would never touch a hundred pounds again. I would never go back to my old gym. I vowed to never let it happen again.

The problem is that my self-talk was coming from a place of fear. I was very grateful, yes, but I was secretly scared. I did not do any physical therapy because I was completely uneducated about it. Instead, I enrolled in grad school to study Performance Psychology. While in school, the gym sucked me back in. The following summer, in 2016, I did yoga teacher training and I fell in love with yoga practice. The pain was gone, and I finally went back to my old gym. Nervous was an understatement.

Oops, I Did It Again

Things went really well at first, and I pushed to get my strength back as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, I started to experience pain again a year after I returned, right when I started a new job at a physical therapy office. I was working a stressful job full time, finishing school, and lifting hard five days a week. While it’s crazy to think that I could ignore pain again, I did. It was almost as if I could will it away.

In December of 2017, the pain pushed me to see my Doctor. I was prescribed Prednisone, and it worked! The pain was gone. What I didn’t realize is that the drug just soaked up the inflammation. My disc was still herniated and pressing on my left sciatic nerve. I went back to the gym, and the problem came back immediately.

What the Heck Were You Thinking?

While this may seem like pure stupidity, you have to understand the mindset of someone who is used to being very active. Fitness can be therapeutic, and you’ve trained your brain to push through tough physical endeavors. But, there’s a huge difference between pain and soreness.

So, I begged for another round of Prednisone. It did nothing! I was screwed and felt dread wash over me. This time, I went two more months before I called it quits in February of 2018. Once again, everything seized back up, but this time I was crumpled over to the left side in a ton of pain. I was so inflamed that I could barely move.

Acceptance

It could be easy for me to be hard on myself for letting it happen again. Instead, I chose to learn. I also sought out social support from friends and professionals. I waited a few months until I was finally able to start physical therapy. My initial Physical Therapist was scared to hurt me, and my therapy wasn’t good, so I switched over to a friend who understands the nature of training I enjoy. When it was time, deadlifts and squats became part of my therapy. Shocking? It shouldn’t be. Learning to not fear any movement again is important. In fact, it is everything.

Now, almost six months after beginning my training again, my strength is back. I have chosen to make new goals and not worry so much about the weight on the bar. Luckily, I don’t have to do anything crazy to get in a good workout. I’ve chosen longevity this time around.

Thank You for Sharing

The point of this self-disclosure is for you to understand that I can help because I have been there and made all the mistakes. Recovery from injury is not glamorous and it’s horribly depressing, but it’s NORMAL. Athletes, you will probably experience an injury at some point. Seek out help, physically AND mentally, and then do what you need to do to get better. You have one body. Make sure your choices are aligned with what you want for your whole life, and not just for what you want right now.

If you’re an injured athlete, send me a message about what you’re going through. I’d love to help!

-Marisa

One day, the looming cloud of doom will hover over you and everything will line up juuust right for you to get hurt. You can’t predict when and maybe you can dance around it, but most of the time if you rough it up you’ll get roughed up in return someday.

Injury takes you to a heightened state of arousal and stress whether you like it or not! It shines a spotlight on every part of you that is weak and what you thought was indestructible. You’re not just getting old, either. While you may feel pain physically, it takes a larger toll mentally. Insidious onset or traumatic, an injury creates stress, heartache, pain, fear, anxiety, and depression. It is an all out war in your mind. So, what can you do?

First Things First: Get Out of Pain

Pain is different for everyone. Someone else may be able to easily cope with pain that you are disabled by. It is simply a different experience. Intense pain may feel like it will never end, but you have to believe that it will. The good news is that there is usually a projected timeline for returning to play. If you are normally a stubborn person, it may be time to adopt a new outlook. Do I speak from experience? Maybe. Anyway, discuss said timeline with your medical professionals, but play a role in your recovery. Do your research, meet with your doctors and physical therapists, and form a game plan. It can possibly evolve based on your response to treatment. Make sure that research you do includes finding a good provider. I’ve been to Physical Therapists who were too afraid to touch me and those who were too aggressive. You have to understand your pain and then learn how to communicate it to those helping you. If you are apathetic, you will get the same response from your body. Put in effort and recover faster, plain and simple.

Loss of Identity & Coping

Your identity can easily become wrapped up in your sport. It’s going to suffer a bit if you’re out.  Realize that you are going to experience some of the stages of grief depending on how long you are sidelined. Once the initial trauma is over, things will begin to settle down and you can plan your recovery. Physical activity might allow you a place to work through challenges in your life. When that is taken away at the level that you are used to, you’ll be forced to deal with life’s stress in a different and new way. Contrary to popular belief, there are other healthy ways to deal with difficult emotions. Don’t get caught up in self-medicating or isolation. The desire to find something to drown out or mask your feelings will hit you like a bulldozer and run you over leaving you in a pancake shape. Imagine recovering from that! This is the time to remember who you are and how temporary this is. Try to keep a normal schedule with teammates, training partners, friends and family. People care about you even if they don’t fully relate or understand.

What You Can Do for Your Mind

The following skills have not been tested on animals. Only humans…

Relaxation & Breathing

Your energy may feel low and you’re going to need mucho rest. Learning how to relax will be key for your mind. Check-in with yourself and notice how you’re breathing. Shallow upper chest breathing is a stress response to injury. This can lead to a lot of anxiety, as well. In response, diaphragmatic breathing can provide a ton of health benefits for your nervous system. When everything is tightened up from inflammation, your body will welcome your deep breath like a warm hug.

Goals & Overcoming Fear

Set goals for your return. This can be a return to health, a return to sport, or return to a specific race/game/meet. Having something positive to focus on is going to shift you into a positive mindset. It will feel good when you start to see small progress in your well-being. You can measure your progress in numbers and photos so that you can actually see how far you’ve come.

You may be fearful of re-injury or losing ground. Let’s get one things straight: you wouldn’t be human if you weren’t concerned about this. If all you know is balls to the wall, let this injury teach you that it’s not the only way. Work from the inside out. Your coach will understand, but your communication with them is crucial. Maybe you’ll always be the one to sacrifice everything, but let yourself heal first.

Visualization & Imagery

Your body doesn’t forget how to ride a bike, so you’re not going to forget how to play your sport. In the meantime, if you just had ACL surgery and you need to regain strength in your leg, you can use vivid imagery skills in order to help your body get there more quickly. How does this work? Visualization is not just sitting on your couch, closing your eyes, and seeing yourself throwin’ down on the court. This is a skill that needs attention as you would practice a layup drill. It is a skill that requires all of your senses and will strengthen over time the more you practice it. If you work on imagery techniques, your body will start to respond as your mind starts to believe you are healing. Your mind is a powerful tool, so don’t downplay or dismiss what it can do for you.

Human & Athlete

Many injuries aren’t that severe, and you may be upset because you have to be out a few weeks. Remember that pain is a warning sign, and if something isn’t right then you need to take a step back and get it looked at. Use the support available to you. Hiding an injury from coaches might seem like the only way to keep your job. In some cases, I’ll let that slide. In many others, you’re just going to fuck yourself up for the worse. Why would any sane person do that to themselves?

The spectrum of the life of an athlete ranges from extreme lows to the ultimate highs. Injury is going to be on that spectrum, and everything you experience is normal. Even the “I’m not okay” part. It’s okay that it’s hard, but if you know that you will overcome it then focus on learning from it. My intent is to make sense of what injured athletes go through, and spark discussion about how we can make the recovery process positive and more manageable. You are a human being with needs. You are also an athlete. Human, first. Athlete, second.

Contact

I’d love to hear from you if you’re dealing with an injury. Send me a message with what you’re going through and the biggest challenges you are facing. Have you tried any of the methods above? What works for you, and what doesn’t?

Let me ask you a question: Does your athletic career define you? Recent research has suggested that concussions can have a negative effect on mental health later in life. Along similar lines, it’s not uncommon for a professional sports team to have many of its players competing anywhere from 70-85% of their full physical health. Elite athletes lay it all on the line and forge into some dark places when it comes to physical and mental health, and it’s no secret that operating at these levels is not reflective of optimum health. Injury, pain, and other limiting factors are swept under the rug in order to win and be the champion. So I ask you: where do you draw the line, and when does your health come first?

Many of the competitors I know are all working their tails off to hold their spot amongst the best. They sacrifice and don’t make excuses. They live and die by their game. Their vision is pin-pointed on the goal and blinders are set to prevent any distractions. They practice consistently and fight hard when it counts. These are not robots, or super-humans; they are real people with talent, drive, and insane work ethic. So, are they defined by their sport?

Eight-time Mr. Olympia winner Ronnie Coleman is famous for getting under or over a barbell and yelling “LIGHT WEIGHT BABY!!!” to hype himself up before lifting some heavy-ass weight. In his recent documentary on Netflix, we learn the former champion has had at least eight back surgeries since his retirement, due to the strenuous training regimen he maintained over the years. My theory is that, if you asked Ronnie if he would repeat his successful past despite his current condition living in extreme pain, he would say yes in a heartbeat. Most people could and will never understand that kind of thought process, but some champions assume all risks, and live and die by their game. Is that what it takes to be the greatest? Is sacrificing your vessel in the long run worth it for the immediate future?

All sports at their highest levels have risks of injury. As athletes you know this, and it is part of your job to do your prehab with your strength and conditioning coaches in order to compete with a strong body. I don’t know about you, but if I played soccer and knew hamstring injuries were a common injury in my sport, I would be diligent in strengthening them to help keep me playing for as long as I could. You’re invincible…until you’re not. We don’t know our fate, but taking precaution and doing the preventative work can ease the mind and help you feel confident while you train and compete.

Regardless of what level you’re at, there are some important questions to ask yourself, and keep revisiting, throughout your athletic journey:

1. What are my long-term goals?
2. Do I want to be the best and will I sacrifice my life in order to do so?
3. Where does longevity come in? Is family and personal health a motivational factor?

Longevity is certainly a goal if you designed a career in sports. Have you really thought about it, though? Contact sports like rugby have a shorter lifespan than baseball because of the degree of beatings your body can take. Each ding or injury you suffer will promote an engine that runs at less than 100% over time because you more than likely won’t recover fully before another beating. On the other mitt, sports like baseball have more games so there is a different type of risk. This is your career and your identity. Recovery, sleep, nutrition, relaxation and de-stressing are just as much a part of the blueprints. Without them, your game would be shit. Do you have the proper team around you and are you taking advantage of the opportunities you have to gain an advantage? Longevity comes as a result of doing good and feeling good over time.

Think about your limits. A year ago, mixed-martial artist Georges St-Pierre suffered a debilitating neck injury during in November 2017.  Recently, he was diagnosed with another medical condition, ulcerative colitis. When asked about fighting again, he stated his health is his number one priority right now, so things are up in the air. Compare him with Ronnie, and you have two different champions. They have the same goal- to win- but GSP has apparently defined a limit. For many of you, your identity is wrapped up in your athletic career. It is who you are and illustrates how you live your life. You may compete briefly, or for many years, and you have to consider how much you are willing to sacrifice. Injury is part of your sport, but when do you declare your limit?

It doesn’t matter who you are, where you’re from, what you did, as long as you love me. Wait, what? Sorry, the opportunity presented itself. Anyway. It doesn’t matter what sport you play, whether it is an individual or team sport, or if you are just a regular human doing your best to be your best, fitness and athletics is mental just as much as it is physical. Just getting to your workout or practice can sometimes be the hardest part of it all. Though most of you understand that it is a mental game, do you really understand how to handle or take control of that? Today, I want to talk about goal setting and habits. They work together well and here’s why…

Create desired habits

A habit is a cue, a routine, and a reward. Your cue is putting on your workout gear, then you head to training because that’s your routine. Your brain anticipates the feeling you get from working hard, competing, and doing what you love. That feeling is your reward. Even if you head to practice and you have a terrible day or you’re not feeling great, you keep showing up because you have already created a habit that usually gives you a positive feeling. “You never regret a workout,” they say. Showing up physically is the habit, but the reward is mental. If you train your brain to create new habits with goal setting and mental skills, you will react accordingly prior to, during, and after your performance.

Put it into practice

Goals are the bread and butter of mental focus and if you want to see progress, setting goals will get you there. If you set goals, you will then create habits of training to meet those goals. Get out a notebook, nothing fancy, and let’s get started.

Step 1. Create a vision for yourself. Where do you see yourself in the next five years? Don’t make this complicated. Go with your gut. If you truly don’t know, shorten the time frame to 3 years.

Step 2. Mission statement. What do you want to accomplish? Define it.

Step 3. Conduct an assessment. Evaluate your strengths and weaknesses. What strengths can you use to your advantage? What weaknesses are critical to improve upon to accomplish your goals? Keep your goals focused mainly on the positive. If your goals include specific numbers or percentages, set them 5-15% above your current performance capabilities so that you are 90% confident you will be successful.

Step 4. Prioritize. If you have 15 goals, that is fine. List your goals in order of importance from 1-15. Pick your Top 5. Remember that achieving short term goals will ultimately help you achieve your long term goals. Now that you have your top 5 goals, drop the other 10. Cross them off. Until you meet those Top 5 goals, none of the other goals matter.

Step 5. Get feedback, and reward yourself. In order to help develop goal commitment, tell others about your goals. Social support with help keep your eye on the prize, especially when you have a tough day. Emotions are part of the process, so don’t let them control your overall progress. When you evaluate your goal attainment, you will find new areas to address.

Monitor your progress closely. Make adjustments if needed, and understand that effort and hard work are required to succeed. Reward yourself so that you create those habits for success.  If you are inexperienced with setting obtainable, measurable and specific goals, please send me a message. I encourage you to reach out via my contact page for a free consultation!